Dear Sirs,
I represent the townspeople of Crooked Corners. Historically we grew a variety of potatoes hereabouts, but a couple years back there was a terrible blight that destroyed entire crops. In order to eradicate the blight, government officials introduced a foreign species of beetle that not only ate the fungus but nutrients in the soil as well. Then the beetles started looking at the citizens with hungry eyes. Luckily those pernicious little rascals are too small to do much damage to a human, but their bites can itch for a week! And they smart something awful the first few minutes.

Because it got so cold this winter, and windy, and the snow drifted over the town, the beetles either died of exposure or ate each other. Unfortunately many of the residents also moved away to avoid malnutrition and because they fear springtime, when the beetles might come back.

We don’t know what to do now. We asked the government for help before, but their beetle solution only made things worse. Alls we have to eat these days is snow in the winter and rain in the summer.

I know it’s risky and I’m asking with hat in hand, but is there any way you could send some of that foreign aid money this way instead of acrost the water to some godforsaken island? We’re tax-paying Americans here, what’s left of us. We could use some real dollars and some real help.

Thanks for your time.
Ronald Flint,
surviving citizen,
former Mayor,
elderly spokesman,
Crooked Corners

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